Remember Me \Chapter Four/

“Gerard...? Gerard, wake up,”

Gerard opened his eyes to see Ray kneeling next to his bed. “Hm...? Ray?”

“Yeah, it's me,” Ray said. “I have to show you something. It's really important...”

Gerard sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?” he asked, looking out the window and noticing it was dark outside.

“1:30 AM, but that doesn't matter,” Ray said. “C'mon, before Mikey gets back!” he grabbed Gerard's wrist and pulled him off the bed.

“Whoa, slow down!” Gerard said, trying not to fall over as Ray pulled him through the hotel room. “Why before Mikey gets back? Where's Mikey?” Gerard decided it would be best to just not mention the fact that he had slept for a really long time, only a few hours after he slept a full night. Then again, the night before's sleep had been pretty restless.

“I'll explain on the way, let's just go!” Ray said, opening Gerard's door and running out into the hallway, quickly closing the door behind them. He sped over to the elevator, pulling Gerard with him, and walked inside, pressing the button for the fourth floor. “Okay, Mikey went to this club, and I was in his room, just hanging out, and he's hiding something from you!” Ray finally explained, panting a little.

“Wait, what is he hiding from me?” Gerard asked, feeling slightly confused, but mostly just tired.

“I... I don't know how to explain it, but you'll see.” Ray said, as the elevator opened. He grabbed Gerard's wrist again and pulled him out of the elevator and started speed-walking down the hall to Mikey's hotel room. Once they got there, Ray unlocked the door and walked inside, still pulling Gerard with him.

“How did you get the key to Mikey's room?” Gerard asked, and then he remembered something else too. “How did you get the key to my room?”

“The manager trusts me the most, so he gave me the emergency keys.” Ray replied, grinning.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Of course he did,”

“But never mind that, I have to show you!” Ray said, running over to Mikey's bed. He reached under the bed and pulled a magazine out from underneath. Ray walked quickly back over to Gerard and handed him the magazine. “Here,”

Gerard looked at the magazine, first noticing that it had a picture of him and Frank on the cover. So, what? There were a lot of magazines that had stuff about the band. But then he saw what the magazine said. Gerard read the words above the picture several times, but he just could not wrap his head around what it said.

Gerard Way kills his best friend, possibly even his boyfriend, by pushing him off the stage.

“W-What...?” Gerard said, his voice shaky. “I... I-I don't understand...” he started to tear up, and no matter how many times he told himself that he had already cried too much or that he had no tears left, he couldn't stop himself from crying. He didn't sob, he just quietly weeped into his hands as he tried to remind himself that it wasn't true. Was it true? It couldn't be. Could it?

Ray put a hand on Gerard's shoulder. “It's okay, Gee, everyone knows this isn't true...”

Gerard lifted his head and looked at Ray. “Not everyone knows! People are probably believing this sh*t! And... and...”

“Gerard, we all know you would never kill Frank,” Ray said, trying to sound reassuring.

“I wouldn't k-k-kill Frank on p-purpose...” Gerard said, his whole body shaking, his eyes wide and filled with tears. “W-When he fell... I-I let go of h-him... and he f-f-fell... I k-k-killed him...”

“Okay, one, Frank isn't dead, and two, it's not your fault!” Ray said. “Something was obviously going on with Frank at the time. I mean, he threw his guitar on the ground and kissed you! Well... the kissing part was normal.”

Gerard smiled a little bit, wiping his tears with his hands, still shaking. “I... I need to see what it says...”

“Gerard, I don't know if that's a good idea,” Ray said, a concerned look on his face. “Just that one line made you pretty upset.”

“I don't care,” Gerard said, taking a few deep breaths. “I don't care if it's gonna make me upset, I just need to know what they're saying about me.”

“I gue-” Ray was cut off by the door opening, and Mikey walking inside.

“What are you two doing in here?” Mikey asked, walking over to Gerard and Ray. “I know why you're in here Ray-” Mikey stopped, looking down at the magazine. “Where did you get that!?”

Ray sighed a little and pointed to Mikey's bed.

“Why were you looking under my bed!?” Mikey asked angrily, seeming to mostly be angry with Ray.

“It... It was sorta not under your bed, like half under half not under, and when you left I saw it... and showed it to Gerard.” Ray said, looking worried.

“God dammit, Ray!” Mikey yelled. “I didn't want him to see that!”

“I-I'm sorry, I ju-”

“I don't care! He wasn't supposed to see it! The manager was really mad so he told me to hide it!” Mikey said, looking even angrier than before. “He even made the magazine company stop making copies of it!”

“If you didn't want Gerard seeing it, why didn't you just throw it away!?” Ray asked, now also looking very angry.

“I couldn't! The manager told me to keep it! I had no choice!”

“Just... stop!” Gerard yelled. “I don't care if I wasn't supposed to see it, I've seen it now, and I need to know what they said about me, so please let me read it!”

“I don't care anymore! Just read it!” Mikey said, running out his hotel room and slamming the door behind him.

“Mikey!” Ray said, standing up and running over to the door. He looked back to Gerard. “C'mon, let's go back to your hotel room...”

Gerard nodded, grabbing the magazine and standing up, walking over to the door and following Ray back to his hotel room. They walked inside and both sat down on Gerard's bed.

“Do you want me to stay?” Ray asked.

Gerard shook his head. “No, you should go to bed.”

“Okay, don't get too upset... and just call me if you need something.” Ray said, standing up and walking out of the hotel room.

Gerard took a deep breath and opened the magazine, preparing himself for the worst. Do they really think I killed Frank? Well, I guess I'll find out now... Gerard thought, starting to read the article.

'Gerard Way, singer of My Chemical Romance, amazing artist, and role model to many may have killed his best friend Frank Iero.

Frank is the rhythm guitarist in My Chemical Romance, and he and Gerard seem to have some sort of 'relationship' considering how often they've hugged, kissed, and showed affection during concerts, interviews, and even music videos. However, during a recent concert, after the strangest 'Frerard' kiss yet, Frank mysteriously fell off the stage, causing a very bad head injury. Many have theorized how the incident happened, guessing Frank might have been drunk, but I have a different theory; Gerard pushed him off. All we have heard about the incident so far is a tweet from Gerard, saying that he is fine and so is Frank, but Frank is recovering in the hospital from a head injury. After not hearing anything from anyone else, it's safe to assume that Frank is much more injured than we thought, or much worse, he's dead. Why Gerard would have killed him is unknown, but you have to remember that Gerard is probably the most famous member of the band, but Frank is close on his tail. Maybe Gerard was trying to kill him so he could continue being the most popular. Just a thought.'

The rest of the article just talked about how Gerard could have been trying to make the murder seem natural and how he probably told Frank the plan, up until Gerard would push him, so they could do the kiss on stage.

Gerard was shaky even more now, his face wet with tears. He tightened his grip around the magazine and it ripped a little. He crumpled it up and threw the magazine out the window, never wanting to see it again.

How could they think that Gerard killed Frank? Gerard would never, ever kill anyone, especially not Frank, and especially not because he was almost more famous than him! Gerard didn't even care who the most famous person in the band was. And then, like a bullet, a pain seared into his head, making him cry out. The strange feeling in the pit of his stomach seemed to be coming back, and it was worse than ever. Gerard fell back onto his bed, passing out from tiredness.

~

Gerard woke up slowly the next morning, the pain from his head gone, but the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach still faintly there. Gerard eventually got out of bed, grabbing his phone off the bedside table to check the time. It was 11:37 AM. Gerard sighed; he still didn't feel fully rested, though he'd been sleeping for almost twenty-four hours. It almost made him worried, but he just couldn't get worried over himself when something really bad might have happened to Frank. Frank! Gerard remembered the tests and that something must have happened. He knew that he was supposed to wait and see if the hospital called him to tell him he could visit Frank today, but Gerard really didn't care. He changed his clothes, put his phone in his pocket, and went down the elevator to the main floor.

“Oh, hey, Gerard,”

Gerard saw Mikey sitting in a chair near the entrance to the hotel. “Hey, Mikes,” Gerard replied. “I;m glad you're hear, I was just about to text you, actually.”

“Need a ride to the hospital?” Mikey asked, standing up.

Gerard nodded. “Yeah,”

“Okay, let's go then,” Mikey led Gerard to his car and they both got in.

They were silent for the whole ride, until the end when Mikey told Gerard that he could pick him up whenever.

Gerard got out of the car, walking into the hospital and over to the desk. “Hi, I'm, um, here to see-”

“Oh, Gerard, thank goodness you're here!” the lady behind the desk said, sounding hopeless.

Gerard's eyes widened slightly. He instantly became worried, wondering what had happened. “Um, what? What happened?”

“Just go to Frank's room,” she said. “You know where it is, right?”

Gerard nodded, already walking to Frank's hospital room. He approached the door, which was already half open.

“Um... hello...?” Gerard took a step inside the room to see a doctor and two nurses talking near Frank's hospital bed, and Frank sitting on the floor looking at his phone.

Frank looked up from his phone, a huge smile on his face. “Gee!”

“Thank God!” one of the nurses said, but Gerard ignored her.

Gerard walked quickly over to Frank and sat down in front of him. “Hey, Frank,” he said, smiling. Frank seemed totally fine, not hurt, and he didn't forget who Gerard was again or anything, which made Gerard feel a lot better. “What's up?”

“Look!” Frank said, handing Gerard his phone, still smiling.

“What's this?” Gerard asked, looking at Frank's phone to see something typed up.

“A song! I wrote it for your, um, our band.” he said, grinning. “And when I can play guitar again, I can play in it.”

Gerard smiled. “That's really cool, Frank,” he said, feeling so happy that Frank was not only interested in the band, but that he was excited to play guitar again. Gerard looked over the song lyrics, and after reading a few lyrics, his eyes went wide, his smile fading a little.

“Oh... Don't you like it?” Frank asked, his smile fading as well. “Well, it's not done yet, so you might like it more later on.”

“No, no, I love it... it's just...” Gerard didn't know what to say.

“It's just what?” Frank asked.

“Can you, um, sing it for me?” Gerard asked.

“Oh... yeah, of course!” Frank said, smiling a little bit again.

“I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.”

Frank sang the song, and it was just like Famous Last Words. Same lyrics, same tune, same everything.

“That's just the chorus though,” Frank said, smiling a little. “So...?”

Gerard was speechless. “How... How did you come up with that?”

Frank shrugged a little. “I... I don't know actually. It sorta just came to me, I guess.”

“Frank... You... You remember!” Gerard finally said, a smile forming on his face again. “You remember Famous Last Words!”

“What?” Frank asked, a confused look on his face.

“Famous Last Words, the song! That's the song you wrote, it's our song, the band's song!” Gerard said, smiling even bigger.

“Wait, really?” Frank asked, smiling as well. “I... I guess that's how I wrote it so easily!”

“Yeah, I guess!” Gerard replied, putting his arms around Frank and hugging him happily.

Frank hugged him back. “Thanks for coming today, Gee...” he said quietly.

Gerard pulled back from the hug. “No problem. I wouldn't miss coming to see you for the world.” Gerard quickly looked behind him, noticing that the doctor and nurses were gone. Looking back at Frank, he spoke again. “So, do you think you remember anything else?”

Frank was silent for a few seconds and then shook his head. “I don't think so,” he shrugged. “But you never know. I could remember something and I just don't know it.”

Gerard didn't care if Frank couldn't remember anything else though. He still loved talking to Frank, and it definitely seemed like Frank liked talking to Gerard. They talked, looked at pictures, listened to songs, and watched interviews for almost four hours, but then the nurse came in and told Gerard that he was going to have to leave. Gerard understood; it was getting a little late, and Frank's parents might have wanted to be with just Frank for a while.

Gerard went back to visit Frank the next day too, and they talked for a long time. Frank didn't remember anything though, or nothing either of them were aware of at least. Gerard even told Frank about the magazine and how the writer of the article thought Gerard had killed Frank, but they just laughed about it, both of them knowing that it wasn't true. Frank started to act more like his old self, but still seeming like a kid when he would hear or see something exciting. Frank believed what Gerard said about him, but he still didn't remember the things, but it really didn't bother Gerard anymore. He actually sort of enjoyed teaching Frank things and telling him about the band. It was almost like when they first met... except that Gerard wasn't just telling Frank about himself, he was also telling Frank about... well, Frank.

Gerard hung out with Frank at the hospital for the whole day on Thursday, until about six PM when a nurse told him he was going to have to leave. She told Gerard that he could come in around noon on Friday to check-out Frank and such, which made Gerard happy.

Mikey soon came to pick up Gerard, and Gerard opened the passenger's door with a huge smile on his face, but then he realized someone else was already sitting there.

“Oh, hey, Gee,” Ray said, grinning. “You look happy. Oh, and, by the way, I called shotgun before you were even here, so you get the back.”

“Wow, thanks,” Gerard said sarcastically, climbing into the back seat. He heard some laughing from the front seats and he rolled his eyes. “Really?”

“What, it's funny.” Mikey said.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Gerard said, shaking his head and smiling.

“Anyway,” Mikey said, “We're going out to eat whether you like it or not, Gerard.”

For the first time that week, Gerard actually wanted to go out and do something. He wished that Frank could come, but he couldn't, and Gerard would just have to deal with that. “So, where are we going?”

“Starbucks,” Ray replied.

“You're lucky that I really want coffee right now.” Gerard said, grinning. “Oh, and by the way, going to Starbucks isn't going out to eat.”

“So, how's Frank?” Mikey asked, changing the subject.

“Pretty good,” Gerard said. “He doesn't remember anything new, not counting when he remembered pretty much all of Famous Last Words yesterday, but I already told you that.”

“That's good.” Ray said. “About Frank being good I mean, not him not remembering anything.”

They were all silent for the rest of the ride, all thinking or listening to the quiet music playing on the radio. Once they got to Starbucks, they all got out of the car and walked inside, sitting down at a table.

“So, what does everyone want?” Mikey asked. “Gerard's paying.”

“Wait, what!?” Gerard said, looking at Mikey.

Ray started laughing. “Wow, thanks so much, Gee! You can just get me a coffee.”

“Yeah, me too, thanks!” Mikey said, grinning and shoving Gerard towards the counter.

“Fine, fine, whatever...” Gerard said, smiling a little. He payed for the coffees and brought them back to the table. “Here's your stupid coffee, guys.”

“Thanks!” Ray said, taking a drink of coffee.

Mikey nodded, keeping a straight face, and also taking a drink.

“Your welcome,” Gerard replied, taking a sip of his own coffee.

And suddenly Gerard felt it again. The strange feeling in the pit of his stomach was back, and something told him it was going to be there for a while.

~

Gerard sat on his bed, for the first time that day worried about Frank. He had high hopes about his recovery throughout the whole day, excited that Frank would soon be out of the hospital, but now he was scared. About what, Gerard really didn't know, but he just felt worried. Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door of the hotel room. Gerard stood up and walked into the main area, slowly making his way to the door.

“What?” he asked without opening the door.

“I need to talk with you, Gerard.”

It was the manager. Gerard sighed, opening the door. “What do you want?”

“You're not going to be happy about this...” the manager said. “You and Frank are doing an interview tomorrow.”

“What?!” Gerard exclaimed. “Frank's not ready for that yet!”

“Well... about that... It's just going to be you two, and you can't mention the amnesia.”

“What?! That's impossible! Frank still hardly knows anything! He knows a few songs and has seen a few pictures and interviews and that's it! And there's no way to prepare him because you can never know what's coming in an interview!” Gerard said, feeling much more nervous than before. “Can't you just cancel it?!”

The manager gave a slightly concerned look. “Sorry, I can't.”

“Why not?! Fine, whatever, switch it to a Mikey and Ray interview then. Those people don't care!”

“Yes, actually, they do. They want you and Frank.”

“But... But what if we mess up...?” Gerard asked, getting more and more worried.

The manager looked at Gerard with a strict look on his face. “Don't mess up.” he then turned around to leave.

Gerard sighed, feeling even more worried. He knew Frank wasn't ready to do an interview, and if they couldn't even mention the amnesia or show any signs of it, there was no way they couldn't mess up. Gerard decided he should just go to bed, and then talk about it with Frank in the morning. Maybe if Frank told the manager that he wasn't ready the manager would cancel it. He pounded his fist on the wall in frustration, feeling hopeless. Finally, after taking some deep breaths, Gerard walked back over to his bed and lied down.

He wasn't very tired, after sleeping so much in the past week, but he knew he probably needed to sleep. Eventually, after an hour of tossing and turning, Gerard fell asleep, hoping that everything would work out.

~

“Thanks, Mikey!” Gerard called as Mikey drove away after dropping Gerard off at the hospital.

He ran a hand through his hair, hoping he looked alright as he walked into the hospital. Gerard was too excited and worried to bother getting completely ready that morning, but he hoped he at least looked half decent. He walked up to the front desk, a smile on his face.

“Hello, Gerard.” the desk lady said, smiling kindly.

“Hi. I can check-out Frank today, right?” he asked.

“Of course,” the lady replied. “You can go talk with him for a little while first.”

Gerard nodded. “Thanks.”

He walked quickly to Frank's room, slowly opening the door so it wouldn't make any noise, just in case Frank was asleep. Inside the room, Frank sat on his bed doing something on his phone. On a chair next to the hospital bed were some extra changes of clothes Gerard assumed were brought over by Frank's parents and a bottle of water.

Frank turned to look at Gerard when the door opened, and he smiled happily. “Hi, Gee!”

“Hey, Frank.” Gerard said, smiling back and walking over to Frank's bed. “Can I sit down?”

“Yeah,” Frank's smile remained, making the strange feeling in Gerard's stomach start to fade away.

Gerard sat down on the bed next to Frank. “So, how are you?”

“Good!” Frank said. “Can I meet everyone else today?”

Gerard nodded, suddenly realizing that neither Mikey nor Ray had ever come to visit Frank. It kind of surprised him, Frank was friends with them too, of course. “Yeah, they'll be excited to see you.”

Frank didn't say anything, as he looked like he was in deep thought, a small smile still on his face. Finally, he said something that surprised Gerard. “Gerard... am I gay?”

Gerard smiled a little. “I don't know, I'm not you.”

“But I wouldn't know, Gee. You would.” Frank said, reminding Gerard that he still didn't know that much about himself.

“Well...” Gerard thought for a moment. “I don't know. I mean, you never told me if you were gay or if you weren't gay, and you've dated girls before, but not in a while. I... I guess I've never really thought about it.”

It was true that Gerard had thought about if he liked Frank in that way a lot in the past, and he had wondered if Frank liked him, but he never really thought about him or Frank being gay or bisexual. Come to think of it, he never even really thought about them being straight. He just thought of them being... well, them.

“Oh...” Frank said, pausing for a moment before grabbing his phone from where he put it on the chair next to the bed. “Because I've been looking at some things online.”

Gerard's eyes went wide. He knew how many videos and pictures there were that had things about them kissing or hugging or anything else, and he didn't want Frank to get the wrong idea. “No, no, no, Frank, we just do that stuff to show that we support gay rights! We're not like...”

“Why did I kiss you in this music video?” Frank asked, pressing play on the music video for I'm Not Okay (I Promise).

“I just said it's to show our support for gay rights...” but Gerard almost doubted his own words. Sure, it started out as little gestures to show their support, but was it really just that anymore? How come they still did these things, even when no one was around? Gerard really didn't know, and he couldn't try and explain it to Frank if he didn't even know what he was explaining.

“I... I don't know if I believe you.” Frank said, pausing the video. “Gerard, are you lying to me?”

“No, no, no, no, no, I'm not lying!” Gerard said, feeling bad for the confusion he was causing. “I... It was that at first, but then it changed... It changed to... to...”

“It changed to what?” Frank asked, looking the most serious Gerard had ever seen him after he fell off the stage.

“The truth is, I don't know what it changed to. Neither of us could ever explain what we were doing anymore... because it's nothing worth explaining.” Gerard said, wondering if he knew what he was talking about at all anymore.

“Gerard... I don't understand...” Frank said, a look of confusion on his face.

“Neither do I, but you learn to live with that.”

They were both silent for a long, long time, until Gerard remembered that he had to tell Frank about the interview. He took a deep breath, hoping that Frank wouldn't be too worried about it.

“Hey, Frank... you see... our manager talked to me about something yesterday.” Gerard started, not really knowing how to say the rest.

“Oh no, did he get mad at you about that magazine?” Frank asked.

“No... actually no one's mentioned that thing in a while.” Gerard said, a little worried that they might be hiding something else from him. “Anyway, it's actually about an interview. We have to do an interview today without mentioning your amnesia, which means we have to pretend that nothing bad happened to you.”

“Oh... I don't know if I can do that...” Frank said, staring at the ground a little. “I obviously don't know too much about even myself... and I can't remember anything...”

“I tried to get the manager to cancel it, but he won't do it.” Gerard said. “I really just don't want you to feel pressured to do this.”

“Why can't we just come clean about what happened to me? I mean, people are gonna find out eventually.” Frank shrugged a little.

“I don't know. I kinda just wanna admit that you can't remember a lot of things, but the manager is really serious about keeping it a secret.” Gerard replied. “I'm really sorry that you have to do this even before we start teaching you to play guitar again.”

“So your manager is really pissed?” Frank asked, finally looking up at Gerard. “About me falling off the stage?”

“Yeah... he's more pissed at me for letting it happen though.” Gerard replied, sighing.

“It's not your fault Gee, you know that, right?” Frank said, looking a bit concerned.

“But... but it is my fault. I let you fall, I watched you fall and I didn't do anything!” Gerard could feel the tears coming, and he tried to stop them, but he couldn't.

“Gerard, you were in shock. It's really not your fault...” Frank put his arm around Gerard, trying to comfort him.

“You weren't there, Frank! The old Frank was there, not you!” Gerard yelled, putting his face in his hands. “You don't know what happened!”

“I do know what happened! And so what if I can't remember it, I've seen the videos! I watched them so I could know what happened and I could help you through it!” Frank said, sounding angry.

“G-Get away from m-me!” Gerard choked, shoving Frank's hand off his shoulder.

“It's okay, Gee, really, you need to calm down! It's gonna be okay...” Frank said, taking a deep breath.

“I-I... I'm not okay, Frank.” Gerard said slowly, looking at him, tears still streaming down his face.

Frank smiled a little. “Say you're okay.”

“N-No...” Gerard said. “I can't... i-it's not true...”

“Just say it, okay?” Frank smiled a little bit more.

“F-Fine... I'm okay...” Gerard said, tears in his eyes.

“No, no, say it differently.” Frank said. “Like... like in the song.”

Gerard smiled slightly. “You mean like... like...” he paused for a moment, and then finished speaking. “I mean it, I'm okay.”

Frank leaned in to kiss Gerard, but not on the cheek like in the video, he kissed him on the lips. Gerard sort of saw it coming, but it still surprised him at first. Then, he kissed Frank back, feeling a whole lot better. It was as if all his pain had disappeared because of one kiss, one kiss Gerard realized he had been waiting for for a long time.

They pulled back from the kiss after a few more seconds, Frank smiling broadly. Gerard smiled a little back, feeling his cheeks heat up. “That... That one was real.”

“Yeah... it wasn't like the others, was it?” Frank asked.

“No... no it wasn't.” and then Gerard noticed something. “Wait, how would you know what the others were like? That was the first time we kissed since before you lost your memory.”

“I... don't know.” Frank said. “I just... felt it, I guess.”

“Frank...?”
“Yeah?”

“I... I think I love you... I think I've loved you for a long time.”